Documenting Identity: Showing Gratitude
In the beginning of this series, I held an importance on how I can benefit from my photographs. I am not good at dealing with change. I become anxious which leads to paranoia whether the change is good or bad. This leads to me focusing on the negative which is never healthy for everyone to do. I have tried gratitude journals in my past where I write three things every night that where positive about my day so I was inspired to show my "identity" through my blessings each day. I had three limitations for this series:
1. All photographs had to be taken with my iPhone camera
2. Photographs would all be edited to black-and-white
3. I would not be showing myself in any of the photographs.
The reason for my first limitation was that I didn't see necessary to professionally take a photograph each day. This series is for myself and have a constant reminder of how blessed I am. A photograph from my iPhone would do that justice. I decided that all my photographs would be black-and-white because during this time of change in my life, I can never see the gray areas of my life and this is something I needed to focus on. I chose not to put myself in any of my photographs because I wanted to focus on the objects or individuals that reminded me how blessed I am.
1. All photographs had to be taken with my iPhone camera
2. Photographs would all be edited to black-and-white
3. I would not be showing myself in any of the photographs.
The reason for my first limitation was that I didn't see necessary to professionally take a photograph each day. This series is for myself and have a constant reminder of how blessed I am. A photograph from my iPhone would do that justice. I decided that all my photographs would be black-and-white because during this time of change in my life, I can never see the gray areas of my life and this is something I needed to focus on. I chose not to put myself in any of my photographs because I wanted to focus on the objects or individuals that reminded me how blessed I am.
June 9, 2014: I promise you all that I will not be taking pictures of my dog for everyday of this series, but I couldn't resist as my first picture. When I came home today my puppy had gotten into the trash and I got really upset. He is in that toddler puppy stage right now where he destroys everything. Even though I do get so frustrated with him I cannot begin to say how much his unconditional love helps me remain positive on those rough days. He may not understand my horrible moods, but he definitely can get me out of them just by cuddling next to me.
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June 10, 2014: I was able to come home and let Billy out before work today. The humidity may be out of control this week, but other than that it is gorgeous outside and nature is full of color and textures. I took a minute to look at the details in the trunks and the leaves. I immediately was at ease by taking this moment and taking in everything texture I saw on the trunk of this tree. I felt inspired and am craving to start on my trees again. Trees, nature in general can always make me smile and put me at ease.
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June 11, 2014: For those of you who don't know, I work full-time on top of being a graduate student. On those days where I have to go straight to work after hours of being in the classroom it's hard for me to stay positive, but then I realize how blessed I am. I have one of the most supportive bosses anyone could ask for. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders and is always making sure I am not running myself down. Months from now when I leave my retail job and enter my own classroom I will always remember my boss every time I looked down at someone's shoes and how supportive she is/was throughout my whole graduate school experience.
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June 12, 2014: Finally woke up to go to the gym today without a week of not going and it felt amazing! After a work out I feel relaxed and positive. As I was driving home I saw rain clouds in a distance and I realized how great it is to live in a place that although the humidity stays in the air for a few days you always know rain is coming to cool it down. Rain is so calming to me and I am ready for a day of rain.
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June 15, 2014: My boyfriend Ty and I finally had the time to go up to see my mom and it was a great evening! We went out to dinner and listened to music as we enjoyed some seafood. All this change in my life builds up my anxiety as days go by, but these two are my rocks. They try to keep my sane as I go through this transition phase and I would say they do an amazing job. I am blessed to have such a great support system.
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June 17, 2014: I know this is a little different from my other photographs so far, but this is such a positive thing that I had to document it somehow. My cousin Liz had been battling cancer on and off for what seems like the past 4 years now. She sends out emails every month or so to keep us all updated on her health. This was a great email to receive after the stressful day I have had. It definitely puts everything in perspective. I have not seen my cousin Liz for a while now, but I hope she knows how much of an inspiration she is to me. She is so strong and I really look up to her. #Lizstrong
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June 18, 2014: There are many positive things that come from us being able to observe SAA and be able to interact with the students, but nothing is better than seeing my students from student teaching! Its great to be able to see them everyday again and watching them progress through their artwork. Today some of my students saw me and handed me snickers which is my favorite candy bar! They'll never know how happy that made me, but these students will always have a place in my heart!
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June 19, 2014: This classroom is full of so many experiences that I had at the beginning of the year. Some better than others, but I see it as a positive because I grew not only as a person, but an educator from my student teaching. I miss the students that sat in the classroom and it just makes me want a classroom of my own that I won't have to say goodbye to so quickly. Great reminder of the memories I had with the students during my student teaching.
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June 22, 2014: Around the 2nd or 3rd week of classes and working full-time I need a day to escape from everything. I was fortunate enough to have Sunday off and spend it at the beach with my mom. Nature is my escape from all the stress from my life so I didn't mind the heat and was blessed to be able to get a beach day in to soak up some sun.
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June 24, 2014: I accepted a job offer today!! I may have been put in the worst, but greatest position ever, but I went with my gut feeling and that I am proud about. I can finally breathe again and relax instead of being on the edge of my seat. I am excited to see what this new year brings for me and to see me grow as an art educator!
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June 25, 2014: Happy Birthday to my best friend Emily! She is going to kill me for posting this on here from years ago, but it's for a good thing. Her and I have been through more ups than downs the past 9 years and I am so blessed to have her in my life. She knows me probably better than anyone else. Her birthday just reminds me of how thankful I am to have her as not only a best friend, but a sister to me.
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June 28, 2014: Another day off from work and school! It's rare for me to get a weekend day off so I definitely have cherished this day to relax and reboot. Although it's raining, I am thankful for my comfy bed, puppy cuddles, and a day full of movies and naps. Sometimes your mind needs a day off from everything.
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June 30, 2014: Today, Ty and I got a care package from his mom. It was 4th of July themed! His mom knows what exactly can make us smile and there is always something dealing with my love of teaching art inside the package. This card was that item this time. Besides, the amazing care package, I am so blessed to have such a supportive, kind-hearted in my life. Ty's mom supports everything we do and always wants the best for us both. We share the love of art and is so supportive of me following my dreams.
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July 1, 2014: Within the past year, my anxiety has definitely pushed it's way into my life more than it ever has. Sometimes its hard for me to move past it and those days are definitely challenging. Yoga and exercise has definitely helped push back my anxiety within the past few months. I am thankful for those mornings where I have time for yoga or a trip to the gym.
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July 3, 2014: Tropical storm Arthur is on it's way in. I am excited for this rainy day because of how relaxing it is. I have talked about rain before through this series, but I can't stress enough how much these days make me relax and slow down from my crazy life lately. I am going to enjoy the rain and relax before work tonight.
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July 4, 2014: I was excited for this 4th of July more than I have been for others in years past. I was finally off work for this holiday so all I had to worry about was sunscreen and filling up the cooler with snacks. I spent the entire day with my family and friends which is exactly what I wanted. I am so blessed to have had this day off and to forget about my worries. |
July 7, 2014: This little bundle of joy is my new cousin Stella. Today I had the chance to visit my cousins from New York. I hadn't seen them in about 7 years now so I made sure that I took the time to see my cousins and their growing family. I love how even though the last time I saw my cousins I was still in high school, but we just picked up where we left off and it definitely felt good to be able to speak to them as a grown up now. I am blessed for the days where I can reassure myself that I have a bigger support system than I think. It was great to spend some time with them and we promised that it wouldn't be another 7 years until we saw each other again. |
July 8, 2014: I stopped by the bookstore today on campus to pick up my hood and tassel for graduation in August. It hasn't fully hit me yet that I am done with school and that in a month I will be decorating my own classroom and getting ready for my students to walk through the door. This year has definitely been full of experiences, good and bad, but I wouldn't change it for anything. My passion for teaching art is stronger than ever and I am so blessed to have made it this far. I am proud of myself for how driven I have become and accomplishing this huge milestone in my life.
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July 9, 2014: My life is full of change right now, but my anxiety is starting to die down and my excitement is growing everyday. In the midst of a huge change in being a student to becoming a teacher, my boyfriend and I are also moving at the end of the month so today I decided to start going through my clothes. Don't worry this gem is not going anywhere, but I definitely giggle every time I see it. Not many people know of mine and Dr. Danker's obsession with silly animal sweaters, but they are just too awesome and everyone should have at least one. I am bringing this sweater up because every time I wear my animal sweaters now I'm always going to be reminded of what an amazing mentor I have had this past year. I am so upset that Dr. Danker will not be close by anymore, but I have my animal sweaters. Dr. Danker has believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and supported me when I felt I was going insane earlier this year. She will continue to be a mentor to me even out in Ohio, but I am thankful to have met her and have her as my professor. Thank you so much Dr. Danker for all that you have done and will continue to do for me! You're awesome!
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Final Reflection:
This identity series has done it's purpose throughout this semester. I chose the idea of "showing gratitude" to help me look at the positives when I'm being challenged by several negatives. So much change has been happening and is going to continue to happen throughout the next year, but I will continue with this gratitude series whether it is through photographs or writing. I think I have shown my identity through these photographs whether it is a photograph of a certain person who influences my life or of nature and how calm it makes me as a person. I will always have this series as a constant reminder that I am blessed on those challenging days and that's the whole purpose of this series that I set for myself.